Recently, I watched "Spliced" aka "The Wisher", a 2002 horror movie that seems to want to be far better than it actually is. The best part of the movie was the fact that Ron Silver was in it. The worst part of the movie was that Ron Silver wasn't in ALL of the scenes. The movie is basically about a teenage girl who watches a lot of horror movies (hmm... sounds like a movie about my teen years... I'm incensed and vaguely flattered that someone wrote an unauthorized biography about me) who begins thinking that the killer from a BAD slasher movie is following her around. The stalker/killer reminded me WAY too much of "Scream" and I always got the feeling that "Spliced" really, desperately wanted to be "Scream". It felt a bit like the dorky little sister who keeps trying to be just like her prom queen sister. She tries but she fails. That's what happens in "Spliced". Ultimately, "Spliced" becomes the gawky, unfunny version of big sister "Scream". It's not funny, it's not scary, it just sort of there - trying too hard with its braces and zits as it tries to steal the crown from big sister's well coiffed head. Was "Scream" the best horror movie ever? No. But was it better than "Spliced"? Oh hell, yes.
I really wanted to like this movie because I have always liked Ron Silver and it feels almost unfaithful to dislike it. Maybe if he'd been in more scenes, as opposed to the annoying and far too old to be playing a high school student, Drew Lachey (whom I now think of as the less talented Lachey brother, and my isn't that a shallow well of talent in the Lachey gene pool?), the movie would have been better. But alas, Mr. Silver was relegated to playing a... hmmm... what was he exactly? Counselor? Therapist? Teacher? School principal? I honestly have no idea. But what it was it was the only truly bright spot in a rather abysmal movie.
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